- A Heap of Good Fortune For Some
- Bullets and Bracelets Against the Bad and Wicked
- Being Fed to Death
- The Lesser Trodden Path
Ever noticed when some people seem to live a charmed life? Not referring to being lucky, or fortunate success-wise, but more towards how some people haven’t had a lot of bad things happen to them. Accidents are few and far between, or never broken a bone, or became really ill. Some are winning every contest they enter, and seem to go through life with an ever-present ray of sunshine falling upon them, never casting a shadow.
Every accident I’ve ever had came from my own action or inaction. I was either unaware of my surroundings because of distraction or focus on something else, or thought I could do something that would get me there faster or presumed someone else was responsible for an action (whether avoiding me because I was there, or was otherwise responsible for predicting what I was about to do.)
I’ve driven always as though I’m invisible, because for all practical purposes, people have the most accidents when something predicted doesn’t happen (the person isn’t supposed to be there; the fan I tripped on wasn’t supposed to in my path; the food I’m eating wasn’t supposed to be spoiled, though it tasted oddly metallic, etc.)
One of the puzzling observations I’ve made has to do with how some people have many people in their lives that are in some way negatively influential, or critical, or even just chronically unhappy with life. While I don’t have any definitive idea where that comes from, I know that for myself, those kinds of people simply aren’t naturally attracted to me. I do encounter plenty of people who have ideas for improvement, or ways to do things better or more effectively in my daily life, but none who see the world as impossible to solve, or are faced with challenges beyond their capacity to cope. Much of that could be attributed to my belief that I can’t really do anything in someone else’s life other than show a different way of handling things. But it’s ultimately still their choice to make a difference for themselves. Whether that forms its own kind of invisible force-field against being surrounded by naysayers and prophets of doom, is up to pure speculation, but it is what it is.
Many years ago, I subscribed to the concept of rescuer mentality, developing sort of a Pygmalion attitude about relationships, which in turn attracted many people of similar belief. You became attractive both to those seeking refuge from circumstance and wanting a hand-up to a better life, as well as those who sought to rescue those in need. By itself this would seem to be an amicable relationship, seeing that those wanting support are matched with those seeking to provide it. But I think you can also see the co-dependency aspect of this situation – how the hungry never learn to satiate their own hunger, and the providers never fulfill the illusion of creating independence. Instead of a symbiotic relationship of mutual support, it becomes a parasitic relationship with each party needing the other to continue unfulfilled, lest the relationship (and the emotional satisfaction derived from it) collapse. The tensions of the need becomes the energy fueling the connections.
To this very day, I still find an innate sense of wanting to rescue, but with a realization that people are not stray dogs and cats, you do what you can to provide an example of self-sufficiency and ability, and do your best to embrace whatever life deals you. There’s a subtle but real difference between when one of those stray animals wanders into your life, looking for solace, versus the ones you go out and trap and domesticate. Similarly, you can be a great teacher and inspire people to learn, or just talk a lot about great things, and never pay attention that your audience isn’t really listening or learning.
While it makes no sense to try and draw direct relationships between bad luck and how one behaves in life, it may be worth noticing that the little rumbles and ripples from broken promises, and living a life of incongruity is often accompanied with a certain over-abundance of misfortune and misfeasance. Or if screaming at the top of your lungs that life isn’t fair and the world needs to treat you better hasn’t worked, maybe it’s time to instead invite a few faeries of good fortune and the leprechauns of luck into your life by trying the nicer road. Bad times are challenging, but not a curse, and at the time you encounter them, you do have the muster to overcome them. But if you insist on encouraging the worst by spouting your bravado, I’m pretty sure it will prove to be an entertaining event at the very least. Enjoy the lesser trodden path of life; it often comes filled with surprises and unforeseen opportunities.
/* For more information and discussion feel free to e-mail me at jlui at jlui dot net, or twitter @jhlui1; With Gassho _()_, James*/